I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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