She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
