I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
And then he peed in my hair
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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