Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
