That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
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Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
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That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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