Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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