the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
