one two three fourrrrnication!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
