I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
