please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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