So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
