So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
