I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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