i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
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WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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