Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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