Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
