I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize