i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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