theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize