i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My balls are so social today.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
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I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
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He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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