i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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