Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
