Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
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im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
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I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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