I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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