me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
