If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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