Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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