i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
