Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
