Little spoons don't ask big questions
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
