Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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