I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
