her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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