you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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