everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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