FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
