so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
