You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
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I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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