so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
