I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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