You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
