Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
that may or may not have been my penis.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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