Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
