sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize