If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
