he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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