oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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