Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He felt like a one man threesome
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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