So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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