Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
