just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
