Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
