Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
