i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
