I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
